Castiel's Human Handbook
by CookieWafflePowerToughGirl
Summary: Dean is fed up with Cas being ignorant to the laws of the Human land so Sam decides to give the angel a handbook to help him navigate through the world. A new experience every chapter to add to his book. Series of drabbles. Some connected. Some not.
1. Chapter 1

Cassidy R: Ello lovers! Another story for the Supernatural fans!

Dean: Bay...

Cassidy R: I know! I know! Don't be like that Dean!

Dean: I have no choice darling. You're getting out of control.

Cassidy R: Just this last one.

Dean: * Sighs* Fine.

Cassidy R: Yay! Anyways this Castiel's Human Handbook that Sam and Dean give him. The pairings are sometimes Destiel and CastielxOC. Depends on the chapter. This is a series of drabbles. Some connected. Some not. Again depends. Well enjoy! Oh and I don't own Supernatural. Senor Kripke is!

Chapter One: The Handbook

Pairing: None

Sam's P.O.V.

I can't believe they're at it again. Dean knows he's had a _sheltered_ life.

"Cas, it's called SPACE! Do you know what that means?" Dean yelled at the angel.

"I-"

"No you don't!" he continued on.

I sighed. It's not his fault. He just doesn't get humans. Hey. I got an idea. I stood up from laptop and grabbed my bag. I rummaged through a little until I found what I was looking for. A tiny notebook and a pen. I sat back down and started my work. Dean continued yelling at Cas about space. Calm down you big baby. He walked on you taking a crap. Big whoop. I've done it. And he calls me the bitch.

"Dean, calm down," I sighed. "It's not a big deal."

"It's a big deal Sam. He needs to learn not to invade the bubble," Dean replied.

"What bubble? I see no bubble around you Dean," Cas said blankly.

I choked back the laughter. Dean looked like he was going to explode. Dean let out a breath and sat on his bed. If he didn't let out that breath, his head would've exploded. I chuckled at my joke. I could imagine explaining that to the innkeeper. I continued my work. After about an hour I was done. Dean was fuming on his bed and Cas had a blank expression.

"Here Cas," I said holding out the notebook.

He grabbed it and looked at the cover.

"Cas's Human Handbook?" he said uncertainly.

I nodded.

"Yep. Those are the basic rules to prevent Dean from showing his bitch face," I said.

Dean flicked me off. I brushed him off. Cas flipped through the book.

"You can add some along as you wish," I said. "Think of them as Cheat Sheets."

"Cheating is wrong," Cas replied.

Sigh. Castiel.

"Stop being so literal Cas," I told him.

"Did you cover body space?" Dean asked.

"Yes," I answered. "Well Cas. What do you think?"

"I think it will be handy on learning how you humans maneuver around each other," Castiel said.

That's an interesting way to describe it.

"Well good idea Sammy," Dean said.

"Cas?"

He looked up from his-probably- new favorite book.

"Yes Sam?"

"May I see that?" I asked politely.

He handed it to me and I chucked it at Dean's head. Right on target.

"OW! DAMMIT SAM!" Dean hissed rubbing his now red forehead.

"I told you. Sammy is a chubby twelve year old," I said lightly. "Sam."

"How about Bitch?" Dean suggested sarcastically.

I hit him with my pen.

"Jerk,"

"Abuser,"

"Cas,"

We both looked at him. I should've put in there 'When Dean and I are throwing insults its not wise to add your name to the mix'. Dean looked at him weirdly.

"Cas, sometimes you are so slow," Dean grumbled.

"I think I'm rather fast," Castiel said.

Wow. Dean started laughing psychotically. He sounded like a drowning puppy. This whole apocalypse thing is getting to him. Cas looked at him with a mixture of confusion and wonder. Probably has never seen Dean like this before. I sure haven't. Let's hope this Handbook works.

Chapter End!

Cassidy R: See? I have this!

Dean: That's what you always say.

Cassidy R: Anyways! Leave suggestions on what you want Cas to have in his Handbook! He's like a little Angel Sponge!

Cas: *Nods*

Cassidy R: Ciao for now!

Dean: Reviews give you me. Oh yeah.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: _Justin Bieber is Not a Monster(or Maybe he is)_

Pairing: None(Destiel is you squint…hard.)

"Sam, are you kidding me? He needs to be hunted and killed,"

Sam rolled his eyes. Cas was watching them go back and forth. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything.

"Dean, it's a teenage boy who sings," Sam sighed. "He's not some monster. Ignore Dean Cas."

Cas nodded. Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Justin Bieber is a monster," Dean protested. "No one with that amount of crappy singing and girlish looks can have so many fans. Did I mention his songs _suck_?"

Cas cocked his head to the side.

"But Dean. I find his melodies to be very pleasing,"

Dean gaped at the trench coat clad angel.

"Are you freaking kidding me? Cas, he's got you too!"

Sam shook his head.

"Dean, it's his opinion. If he likes Justin Bieber then let him. Nobody complains when you listen to your music,"

"You only agree with him because you listen to the same douche bag music," Dean retorted. "Mr. Jason Mraz. I mean who the hell is that?"

Sam ignored his brother. Cas was still confused.

"So is Justin Bieber a monster or not?"

"Yes/No,"

Dean and Sam glared at each other.

"Dean, not one single freaking word,"

Come to find out Dean was right. Justin Bieber was a siren. The real Justin Bieber was so unpopular he fell into the music industry black hole. And Dean kept reminding Sam every moment. The brunette was about ready to stab his brother. Cas was in the back seat watching the two interact.

"Hey Sammy? What has two thumbs, a nice ass, and was right about Justin Bieber?"

Sam groaned.

"Wait. I think I know this one," Cas said. "Is it you Dean?"

Dean laughed.

"You bet your ass it is Cas,"

"Cas, don't encourage him," Sam told him. "His ego is over inflated already."

"Aw Sammy. Don't be mad that I was right and you weren't. I know monsters when I see 'em,"

Cas nodded and pulled out his handbook.

'_Justin Bieber _is _a monster,'_

"I bet money that Lady Gaga's a monster too," Dean commented.

Sam shook his head. Unfortunately for Dean, Lady Gaga is actually a human being and now he's on the FBI's most wanted list…again.

Chapter Two End!


	3. Chapter 3

Hello Lovelies!

Dean: Hey.

Sorry for not posting in a while. But hey reviewer Blue Daisies gets Dean!

Dean: Being pimped out like a champ.

Anywho I don't own Supernatural and remember I love reviews!

Chapter Three: You Don't Air Quotes Like that Cas

Pairings: Destiel

It was just another normal day. The Winchesters and their angel companion had finished another ghost case. They were enjoying their break like they always do, with beer and a stupid argument.

"Dean, would it kill you to eat better?" Sam asked. "You won't have to worry about something supernatural killing you. Your body will give out before that."

"Sam. I'm a grown man. I can't live of rabbit food like you," Dean bit back. "Besides I have to look good for my angel. He doesn't like a weak boy. Right Cas?"

Cas looked up.

" 'I have to agree with Sam Dean'," he said.

Sam and Dean looked at him with matching confused expressions.

"Cas, what the hell are you doing with your hands?" Dean asked.

Cas stared at his hands. They seem fine to him.

"I don't understand what you mean,"

"You looked like you were trying to use air quotes," Sam said. "But failed miserably."

"I saw it on TV and I thought that was how you would use them," Cas responded.

Dean chuckled.

"No Cas. You don't air quote the whole statement," he told him. "You only air quote the important parts. The more sarcastic the statement you air quote the better."

Cas nodded.

"For example," Sam started. "I can't wait to see Dean die from all the "food" he eats. I'm being sarcastic by saying food when I really mean poison."

"In case you didn't understand the bitch's example, here's another," Dean stated. "I just can't wait to hear more of Sam's "great advice". His great advice is just him bitching about my life styles."

Sam glared at his brother. Cas had out his handbook and wrote down the steps to air quotes. After he was done, he tucked his book in his pocket.

"I would love to stay and observe more of your "brotherly bonding" but I have more important things to do,"

Cas was gone in the blink in the eye. Dean and Sam were silent as they stared at the spot he was previously at.

"Did Cas just use air quotes correctly?" Dean asked.

"And did he just out sarcasm us about it?" Sam replied.

Yes Boys. Cas won this round. But don't worry. There's always tomorrow.

Chapter End!

Reviews are love!

Dean: And me.

See ya soon!


	4. Chapter 4

Ugh. I'm such a slacker. I had this ready for like ever but was too lazy to post.

Sam: Hit her with rotten tomatoes. I'll start it off.

Dean: Sam. Don't. You know what happened the last time you even thought about attacking her.

That's right! Anyways I'm giving you Chapter Four! Not my best in my opinion. For some reason I can't see Cas in a relationship with anybody except Dean...

Dean:... I don't know how to take that.

Sam: I do. You're in love with Cas. You two have a very _profound _bond.

Dean: Shut up. Enjoy the chapter and remember to review. And drop some suggestions. Those are nice too.

I have two ideas that are going to be entertaining hopefully.

Sam: Cookie doesn't own us. Thank God.

...Shut up. A girl can dream.

Chapter Four: Here's a Quarter…Buy a Phone Card

Pairing: Cas X OC

"Dean, Sophie,"

The two in question jumped in surprise.

"Jesus Cas," Dean grumbled. "Learn how to announce yourself. Remember call first?"

Cas nodded and took a seat.

"I tried to but there was a women telling me I couldn't," he answered. "She would end the call before it would ring. I got to talk to Sam but she interrupted the call."

Dean and Sophie shook their heads.

"She was extremely monotone," he added.

Dean snorted and Sophie giggled.

"_She's_ monotone?" Dean asked him. "Have you even heard _yourself_?"

He turned his attention to Sophie.

"How do you even deal with that?"

She pouted and planted a kiss on her boyfriend's cheek.

"I find it endearing," she replied. "C'mon Cas. We're going to take care of your little 'voice' problem."

"You know what's causing the woman to curse my phone?" he asked.

Dean snorted.

"Yeah. We both know," he told him taking a sip of his beer. "It's called 'Buy a Phone Card'."

Cas looked stunned.

"So it's not some monster?"

Sophie and Dean shook their heads. Cas pulled out his notebook. He wrote down…

_The voice is not some monster trying to kill me. It is just a tiny woman that lives in my phone that tells me to buy a phone card._

The next time this happened it was actually a Crocotta. Too bad the monster failed to realize that Cas was an angel. Its mind tricks didn't work. Although Dean gets weird every time Cas stares at him now. But eh. Oh well.

Chapter End!

Remember Read. Review. Suggestions. I need 'em.

Dean: She likes-

Sam: Cannon Penis.

...

Dean:...Sam. No more Smosh for you.

They're hilarious. Go watch them. Unless they're not your scene. Some of my friends don't like 'em.

Dean: Until next time, I'm Hot and Older

Sam: I'm Tall and Younger

And I'm Short and Lazy signing off! See ya!


	5. Chapter 5

I have the best readers.

Dean: She did not stop squealing.

So many reviews in such a short time! I was so happy I busted this out like a champ! I'm just so freaking happy!

Sam: She was so excited she even stopped bugging me. It was weird.

Dean: She talked my ear off.

...

Dean: Not that I'm complaining or anything.

Anyways! Thank you bunches to Casismyfavorite, ChevyImpalla1967, ebonylovesdeanandsam, and The Mysterious Shadow! I appreciate your reviews and the rotten tomatoes. They whipped me into shape. I can be quite the bum.

Dean: So without further ado...on with the next chapter of Cas's Handbook.

Cas: It has become quite the helper.

...

Dean:...

Sam:...

Dean: You realize these are for me and Sam right?

Cas: My apologies.

Well since you're here, do the disclaimer.

Cas: Very well. Miss Cookie here does not own me or Dean or Sam. She doesn't own anything Supernatural related except this lovely idea to give me a handbook.

Enjoy!

Chapter Five: Sweet Dreams are Made of Angels

Pairing: Destiel

Sam and Dean were riding in the Impala, lost in their thoughts of the previous night. Sam noticed his brother was just as silent as he was and decided to see what was up with him.

"Dean?"

A grunt.

"You sleep well last night?"

Dean frowned. He had slept but he couldn't say well. He stayed silent. Sam was going to ask again but Dean answered.

"I had a dream," Dean told him.

Sam chuckled.

"Okay MLK," he joked.

"No. I mean it didn't _feel _like a dream," Dean said.

Sam's mood changed. He waited for Dean to elaborate but there was a flutter of wings in the backseat.

"Hello Sam," Castiel greeted.

He turned his attention to Dean.

"Dean,"

Dean cleared his throat and nodded. His cheeks tinged pink.

"So back to your dream," Sam said.

Dean shook his head.

"I'm not talking about it now,"

Sam frowned.

"Why not?" he asked. "Maybe Cas can-"

"I'm not talking about it Sam!"

Dean's face was tomato red. Sam turned around and saw a smug look on Castiel's face. That worried him deeply. Usually it was the other way around. Dean _never _blushed.

"Did something happen last night?" Sam asked.

Cas smirked and looked at Dean in the review mirror.

"Yes Dean. Did something happen last night?" Cas asked.

Dean sighed out.

"I can't do this anymore," he said. "I almost had an ulcer trying to _blush_. It's hard being you Cas. And I _don't _act like that."

Sam was lost. He wanted to tell Dean that he _did_ act like that and that Cas was spot on but he wanted to know what the hell was going on.

"Wait. I'm confused,"

"Dean and I-"

"Cas and I decided to be each other for a day," Dean told him.

Sam snorted.

"Who's idea was that?" Sam asked.

"It was Cas's," Dean told him.

"Actually it was Dean's," Cas responded. "He dreamed he was me while we were in the middle of-"

Dean slammed on the breaks. Sam choked on his on spit. Dean whirled around to look at Cas.

"You were snooping in my dreams?"

Cas looked confused.

"Please tell me that was _not _what you were going to tell me," Sam said.

"No!" Dean exclaimed. "I was going to tell you about my dream of _Dad_!"

Sam looked at Cas.

"Why were you snooping in Dean's dreams Cas?" Sam asked calmly.

He thought the calm voice would help Dean chill. He really looked like he was going to explode.

"A few days ago Dean and I were talking about-

Dean glared at him.

"…_things_ and he told me if I really wanted to know I should go to sleep. I had to tell him that I don't sleep so he told me to search in his dreams,"

Sam face palmed. His patent-pending bitchface on Dean.

"So this is your fault," Sam said.

He sat back.

"Figures."

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Cas, stay out of my head," he groaned out. "I didn't mean literally go in my head. I was being facetious."

"That's a big word for you,"

Dean ignored his brother. Cas just pulled out his notebook. He felt it was important to write down _Don't invade Dean's head. _And _Dean is actually some what smart._ After Dean was calm, the Free Will Trio went on their way. Unfortunately for Sam, Dean forgot to tell Cas not to go in _his_ head. Now Sam can't go longer than five minutes without thinking about Cas watching him have sex with whatever celebrity chick he thinks about. Or any chick period.

Chapter Five Over!

Oh Cas. Well you know what to do. Cuz you're doing a darn good job of it but in case you forgot.

Sam: Read.

Dean: Review.

Cas: Suggestions.

I will have fun with the idioms one. Hehe.

Dean: Greeeaat.

Tata Loves!


	6. Chapter 6

I'm about to cry.

Dean: Why?

This people are amazing. Seriously. Just ugh. The love is overwhelming.

Sam: Oh geez. She's going to explode…that just might not be a bad thing. Keep bringing the love. Make her explode!

Meanie. Anyways. So much love for you guys. I felt so happy about the reviews that I decided to make the fun with idioms TWO chapters. It's gonna be good. Seriously. Great stuff. Although it's a different format. It's snippets of different times Cas has taken a idiom literally. The next chapter after this will have Castiel finally getting the point of idioms. Which he will then put in his notebook.

Dean: Yep. It's gonna be good.

Sam: No it's not. Leave while you still have the chance.

Shut up! So thank you guys for the follows and reviews and alerts and everything else!

Dean: You let us have a job during the hiatus. Seriously October? I'm gonna die before that comes.

Same here. But enough about that. Sasquatch Sammy! Disclaimer!

Sam: Ugh. Yeah. So apparently Cookie doesn't own us-Thank God. I would be dead if you owned us.

Nope! You would live. You would just be put in the crappiest situations possible!

Sam: Great.

Dean: Enjoy Crazy Kids.

Cas: Yes.

…

Sam:…

Dean:…Cas? What did I say?

Cas: Right. My apologies. *Flutters away*

And I'll explain my slight absence…

Chapter Six: Once More with Less Literalness Cas Pt One

Pairing: None. Just pure Team Free Will Bro-ness

"Man I can't believe Bobby kicked the bucket. He was such a good guy,"

Cas looked at Dean.

"I don't understand how Bobby can kick anything. He's deceased. You _did _burn the flask right?"

Dean shook his head.

"Sorry Cas. We can't really do anything to help you," Sam explained. "Dean's feelin' a bit under the weather."

Cas tilted his head in confusion.

"Don't your human nature laws state that you are always under the weather?"

Sam looked confused for a moment but realized what Cas was saying. He chuckled and shook his head.

"Good bye Cas,"

"Sheesh Cas. I feel like me and Sam are doing more about this than you are,"

Cas was going to say he was working on it but Dean interrupted him.

"I mean c'mon man. Pull your weight around here. We can't worry about ours and deal with yours too,"

When Dean walked away, Cas pulled at his stomach. He didn't comprehend what help this was going to do for anyone. But all day he kept pulling at his stomach to the confusion and slight amusement of Dean and Sam.

"Sam?"

Sam looked up from his laptop to stare at the Holy Tax Accountant.

"What is it Cas?"

"Did Dean tell you what he was getting me for Christmas?"

Sam smirked. This was his opportunity to get Dean back for telling Cas about what happen with him and Diana Mead. And Elena. _And_ Lola. He was going to answer when Dean burst in the door.

"Sam, if you spill the beans I will drop you off on the highway in the middle of no where," Dean threatened.

Sam zipped his trap but Cas had another question.

"Dean, Sam was not consuming or around any beans," he commented. "How can he spill something that's not here?"

Sam snorted and Dean shook his head.

"That's not important Cas," Dean said.

"Jesus," Dean said looking at the window. "It's raining cats and dogs outside."

Sam chuckled and continued on the computer but while Cas was watching a movie his mind was whirling.

"Dean?"

"What's up Cas?" he responded.

"How can it precipitating felines and canines?" Cas questioned.

Sam snorted.

"It's nothing to worry about Cas," Dean said.

Then he frowned and stared at the screen.

"Is that Captain America _naked_?" he asked.

Castiel turned his attention back to the TV.

"I don't know who that is but yes this man seems to be in a state of nudity," he responded. "Is it common to answer the door in that manner?"

Dean snorted.

"Either you're extremely confident or extremely stupid to do it," he replied. "Chris Evans just so happens to fall in the extremely confident category."

Sam raised a brow.

"So Chris Evans is your new man crush?"

Dean sputtered and grumbled at his brother. So now our little Angel Castiel was even more confused than he's ever been. Poor guy. Someone needs to explain.

Chapter End!

Mkay. So that was pretty long. For this story at least.

Dean: So about the long absence…

Life. Hectic as crap schedule.

Sam: Getting home at ten at night.

Crashing and burning.

Dean: Wake up. Repeat all over. It was pretty bad.

Yep and now school's starting too but that gives me good ideas for our angel amigo.

Sam: Ah. School. Good times.

I heard you got picked on a lot when you were in school for being small. How ironic you grow up and be a behemoth.

Sam: Shut up.

Dean: Before these two get into it, as always review and read and all that jazz to your hearts content.

Even when I don't update in a long time, I still read your reviews! Often! To get my butt in shape! So I wasn't being lazy.

Sam: For once.

…

Dean: Bye guys. And keep an eye out for part two.


	7. Chapter 7

Ah. I miss this. Writing. It's nice. A lovely break from school.

Dean: Yeah. Still unemployed for right now. Can't wait til October.

Sam: Seriously. We're going to be morbidly out of shape once October rolls around. But at least this is keeping us going.

Dean: Definitely. Well since we pretty much are just chilling here, enjoy the story.

Oh! And I forgot to mention last chapter but if you can tell me where the girls Sam talks about are from (It's obvious once you Google) I'll write you a nice little one-shot! Whatever pairing you want! As long as it's this Fandom. It could be something else (like whatever's on my profile) but just be warned, I've never seen Sherlock or Doctor Who so those are definitely out. Sorry.

Dean: And FYI Cookie doesn't own Me. Or Sam. Or Supernatural period. Or any of the shows mentioned on her profile.

So sad. So true. But hey enjoy!

Chapter Seven: All Is Revealed to Castiel aka Once More With Less Literalness Pt 2

Pairing: Just Friendship Destiel and Cas/Balthazar Bro-ness

It had been almost a week since Dean and Sam had seen the angel of the Lord last. Of course that had a certain older brother worried.

"Oh heavenly Castiel," Dean started. "Please come down and grace us with your presence. We haven't seen you in forever."

"Castiel?" Sam stated. "Where are you?"

Dean bit his lip. Nothing.

"We're worried about you Cas. Do us a favor and pop up,"

Not a moment later, there was a fluttering of wings. Dean and Sam whirled around. The angel was standing behind them.

"What do you want?" he asked.

Dean gave him an incredulous look. So did Sam. They weren't expecting the harsh attitude.

"What do I want?! Me and Sam have been calling for you for days! Where the hell have you been?!"

Cas blinked at him.

"I was taking a hike," he answered simply.

Dean gaped at him. He couldn't believe his ears. Sam's brain started trying to figure out what was going on.

"You were taking a _hike_?" he repeated.

Cas nodded. He didn't understand why Dean was acting the way he was. Dean sighed and put a hand to his head.

"Cas, why were you taking a hike?"

"Because you told me to,"

Dean moved his hand and looked in to Cas's blue eyes. Sam snorted. He figured it out.

"I did what?"

"You were feeling ill and you told me to take a hike," Castiel responded.

Dean was silent. Then he laughed. And laughed. And laughed. Cas was worried he'd lost his mind. Sam scooted away from his brother and stared at him with a scared expression. With all the hunting they do and the life they lead in general, it wouldn't be surprising if Dean did go crazy.

"Dean?"

Once Dean calmed down, he stood up from his chair and walked over to the angel. He slapped his shoulder.

"I didn't literally mean take a hike Cas," he explained. "I just meant go somewhere for a little while."

Suddenly everything clicked for Cas. The 'feeling under the weather' and everything else. He pulled out his hand book and wrote down to not take everything so literally. Sam laughed and stood up to stand beside Cas too.

"I understand now," Cas said.

"Good," Dean responded. "I'm glad to see you're okay though. Got us worried there for a second. You not responding to anyone's calls and all. You don't get messages while on hikes?"

Cas shook his head.

"I do. It's just that I was occupied as well,"

Dean motioned for him to continue.

"Balthazar was with me," he answered. "He said he always wanted to go camping with a brother. So that's what we did. We hiked and camped. I tried to go to you but he wouldn't let me. My apologies."

Dean chuckled.

"It's all good," he said. "Just remember not everything me and Sam say is the literal meaning."

Sam agreed with him. Cas nodded. The weeks past and everything was back to normal. But with Castiel there's bound to be some slip up's. Like when Dean told him to 'kiss his ass' it took both Sam and Dean to stop Cas from pulling down his pants and placing his mouth on Dean's rear. Oh Cas.

Chapter End!

Well that's all folks! Remember and as always.

Dean: Read. Review. Cookie uses them for fuel.

Yup.

Sam: Thanks for all the reviews and favs and alerts and all that jazz. It makes her happy. When she's happy she ignores me, which is great.

Yup. So be on the look out for the next chapter. What's Cas going to put in his Handbook next? Everybody loves Disney?

Dean: I don't.

Lies. Or maybe all dudes are douches?

Sam: I'm not.

Lies. Or maybe you guys have something even better. Leave your suggestions in a Review or PM. I really don't care! I check both!

Dean: That's it for us. Signing out is Sam, Dean, and Cookie saying good night and God Speed.

How old are you again?


	8. Chapter 8

Well I'm not dead. Yay.

Dean: Haha. Not going to bore you with her reasons for not updating soo Disclaimer.

Sam: Cookie doesn't occupy the rights to Supernatural. That is all. Enjoy.

Chapter Eight: Catchy Songs and Silent Dean

Pairing: Destiel

Dean was going to stab his ear drums.

"_Hey I just you and this is crazy but here's my number so call me maybe,"_

"Cas?"

Cas stopped what he was doing.

"What is it Dean?"

"For the love of _God_ stop singing that awful song,"

Dean and Cas were in the Impala on their way to pick up Sam from the library. Earlier in the week, Dean had lost a bet with Sam so he was stuck listening to the Top 40 Pop hits station. To add insult to injury, Cas started picking up on some of the music.

"Hey I just met you and this is crazy but-"

"_Cas_, don't you dare," Dean warned.

Cas stopped. Dean sighed in relief and kept on driving. They were in comfortable silence when Cas started humming. Dean resisted the urge to slam his head against the steering wheel.

"Castiel," Dean warned. "_No_."

"But Dean were you not the one who told me to get into Earth's music?"

Dean knew that was going to come back and bite him in the ass.

"Yeah I said that but when I did I meant Earth music like Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin. You know _good_ Earth music."

"That's good music to _you_," Cas argued. "To me it just sounds like a group of God's creatures being slaughtered."

Dean clenched his chest. Those words hurt him. Nobody talked about the classics like that. Not even his boyfriend. Dean didn't say a word. Cas noticed his foul attitude.

"Dean?"

He was silent.

"Dean?"

Nothing. Katy Perry was playing in the background.

"Dean will you say something?"

Dean just kept on driving. Even when they went to pick up Sam, Dean didn't say a word. Sam picked up on the awkward tension between the couple and didn't say anything. This went on for the whole day. Cas was at his wits end with the hunter. He was going to make him talk.

"Dean Winchester," Cas groaned out. "Will you say _something_?"

"I have nothing to say Cas,"

Cas gave him such a bitch face that Sam would've been proud.

"Dean what do you want me to say?" Cas asked. "I'm sorry for insulting your music."

Dean looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

"And?"

"I'll stop singing to the radio,"

"_And_?"

Cas didn't know what else to say. Dean picked up on this.

"And you take back what you said about my music sounding like animals being slaughtered,"

Castiel in a very human manner rolled his eyes.

"I apologize for saying your music sounds like animals being slaughtered,"

Dean nodded with a smug look on his face.

"It sounds like God's creatures being tortured," Cas told him.

Point Castiel. As Dean raged on about the angel's supposed 'insolence to the classics, Castiel grabbed his handbook and wrote in a new rule.

_Do not insult Dean's music. He will get bitchy about it._

Chapter End!

So a little short but good news. Another one will be posted!

Dean: And it's not funny but really kinda heartwarming.

Sam: Can be taken in a funny manner though. Well see you then. Laters.

Bye bye!

Dean: Laters.


	9. Chapter 9

Alright take two. I decided to go in a different direction and make it a bit more fluffy because I usually don't do that.

Dean: I think it's pretty good.

Sam: I actually do too.

Well hope you enjoy!

Chapter Nine: Cas Watches The Little Mermaid

Pairings: None

"Good God Dean. Your clothes smell like ass,"

Dean glared at his brother and snatched his jeans from him. Sam, Dean, and Cas were in a laundry mat. They were only there because Sam was complaining about their dirty clothes. Dean wouldn't admit but he was starting to get a headache from the smell and it was starting to stink up his baby.

"Shut up about it," Dean growled. "We're here. Now instead of flapping your gums lets wash these clothes."

Sam nodded. He turned and looked at their other companion. He was sitting in one of the plastic chairs looking at the wall. While the two brothers were washing Castiel noticed a little girl and her mother walk in.

"Go over there and sit," the girl's mother commanded. "We're only going to be here for a little while. Go watch a movie okay?"

The girl nodded and went over and took a seat beside Cas. She pulled out everything she needed and put in the Little Mermaid to watch. Cas was minding his own business when he felt drawn to look at the screen. The girl had been watching the movie for a few minutes so it was still towards the beginning.

"Little one, what is this you're watching?" Castiel asked her.

She looked up at him.

"The Little Mermaid," she replied.

"What is it about?"

"A mermaid who wants to be human and be with the prince so she sells her voice to this evil lady," the girl explained. "The evil lady then uses her voice to take the prince from the mermaid."

"That's terrible," Castiel commented. "That's truly evil. But what does the singing and talking crustacean have to do with it?"

She furrowed her brows. When he realized she didn't know what that meant, he pointed out the red crab.

"Oh Sebastian!" she exclaimed. "He tries to stop the mermaid because he knows the evil lady's evil. The mermaid doesn't listen."

Cas nodded. He concluded that this mermaid was an idiot. She was part human and part fish and she wanted to be human for a man she just _met_? He couldn't wrap his brain around. Soon things would change.

When the movie was over, Cas and the girl (who's name he found out was Isabelle) began talking about it animatedly after Cas asked her some more questions.

"Ariel is so brave," Cas said. "She did the right thing and got her prince at the end. Plus her father saw the error of his ways with his prejudice views. And Ursula was destroyed. Good prevailed over evil. A terrific movie to show a good purpose."

Isabelle nodded excitedly.

"And don't forget the music!" she chimed.

They both began to sing 'Under the Sea'. A ways off, three people were currently looking at the singing duo.

"Wow. I don't think I've seen him that happy before," Sam commented.

Dean agreed. Isabelle's mom just chuckled.

"Nothing like a good Disney movie to pep up your day," she said.

When Dean and Sam were done with laundry, they stayed a while longer until it was time for Isabelle to leave. Cas was disappointed. Him and Isabelle were watching Tangled. Before Cas could leave, Isabelle called after him. He stopped and crouched down to the girl's level.

"What's the matter Isabelle?"

She had a grin on her face and her hands behind her back. Then she held them out. In her grasp was her copy of The Little Mermaid.

"I want you to have it Castiel," she told him. "So you have something to make you smile and remind you of me."

He took the movie from her slowly.

"Are you sure?" he asked her.

She nodded vigorously.

"I've seen it a bunch of times!" she responded. "I want you to have it now."

Castiel smiled and placed the movie in his inside pocket.

"I have something to give you too," he told her.

He dug in his pocket and pulled out a jet black feather and placed it in her hands.

"If you ever want to see me just close your eyes and say a little prayer," he told her. "I'll come. I'm an angel."

She gasped. He stood back up. She had the feather in a tight grip and gave him a hug, then scurried off to her mom. Cas then got in the car with a smile in his heart. Dean and Sam smiled just by the cute scene and drove off. Cas turned and looked out the window to see Isabelle waving. He waved back until he couldn't see her anymore. Sam found his handbook and wrote another rule.

_Watch a Disney movie every once in a while. For Isabelle._

Chapter End!

Well that's all folks. You know the game. Review. Tell your friends. Leave suggestions. Follow me on Pintrest so we can see what everyone likes? Cool?

Sam: Don't follow her. Her boards are lame.

Dean: *Looks through boards* Actually, they're not that bad. Gives you an interesting look into her life. What she likes…etc.

Sam: Later guys.

Bye! See you soon!

Dean: *Pinning crap* Wow…this is fun.


	10. Chapter 10

Oh boy! First off...this is a bit late but...

Dean: Happy New Year!

Have a good time! Oh and this one is long and kinda depressing at the end.

Sam: Just like your life.

...Douche.

Dean: Enjoy! And remember Cookie doesn't own jack squat.

Chapter Ten: Dean & Cas Don't Know Nothin' About Birthin' No Babies

Pairings: None

"You just _had_ to get yourself banged up,"

Dean and Sam had to drive all the way from Florida to Washington to go and retrieve Bobby out of the hospital, then take him home. What Bobby failed to tell them is that he was so badly injured that there was no way the hospital doctor was letting him leave without anyone coming to collect him.

"Because asking you to come get me is a great pastime of mine."

Bobby tsk'd and muttered 'idgit' under his breath.

"Do you wish for me to just relieve you of your injuries?" Castiel suggested.

Before Bobby could take him up on his offer, Dean butted in.

"No angel mojo," he stated. "He's going to heal like a real boy."

The glare Bobby gave him could make Hell feel like a snowstorm. Dean just brushed it off.

"Cas and I are going to go and get the Doc so we can check you out," Dean said.

"Doc's office is on the fourth floor," Bobby told them. "Hurry up. I'm getting antsy in this bed."

Dean gave him a two finger salute and walked out. Cas and Dean headed over to the elevator. Dean let Cas press the button (he liked pressing buttons all of a sudden) and it dinged, allowing them in. They stepped in and was greeted with the sight of a dark haired woman. A _pregnant_ dark haired woman. Dean flashed her a polite smile. She nodded back. They were in a comfortable silence when the elevator stalled then stopped. Dean sighed in frustration.

"Well that's just frigging fantastic," he grumbled. "We're stuck."

"Dean? I'm afraid that's the least of our troubles,"

Dean looked at the angel confusingly then suddenly the woman with them hunched over in pain.

"Oh God _no_,"

As soon as he saw the wet spot on the woman's jeans he began panicking. She started groaning and clenching on her stomach.

"The baby's coming," she sighed out.

"Well tell it to wait!"

Even Cas looked at him with an 'are you freaking stupid' look.

"Can't you zap her out of here or something?!" Dean asked him.

Castiel shook his head slowly.

"There's Enochian written on these walls to trap angels," he answered. "I'm afraid I'm stuck here as well."

Dean ran a hand through his hair and huffed. He didn't know what to do. There was currently a woman in labor about to give birth and they were stuck.

"Frigging Winchester luck," he muttered sarcastically. "Cas? Is there anything you can do?"

Castiel had the woman (whose name he found out was Laura) sit on the floor and try to relax.

"Oh man. Derek is going to be soooo pissed when he finds out about this," she said.

Cas patted her shoulder.

"Do not worry," he told her. "Derek will not be upset. He will love the child as if it were his own."

Laura looked at him confusingly.

"Uh…Derek's my brother," she told him bluntly.

"Oh I'm aware," Castiel replied. "That's what I meant. Did you misinterpret me?"

Amidst the pain Laura chuckled. She had no idea who these two were (or how the hell he knew Derek was her brother) but she could tell she liked them. A moment later another sharp contraction hit. She hissed and gripped Castiel's hand so tight she could hear the bones snap. When he didn't immediately begin howling in pain, she raised a brow.

"Does that not hurt?" she asked him.

He shook his head no.

"I feel no pain," he responded.

Laura shrugged. She wasn't expecting that but she'd been through worse. The trio were having a comfortable conversation when a voice came on telling them they were working to get the elevator working again. Dean sighed in relief and told them to hurry because they had Laura. But just as their luck looked like it was changing, Laura started screaming.

"Okay! This time for real! The baby's really coming! Oh God! It's really coming!"

Annndddd Dean lost his shit. Cas was the only one in the elevator not losing their cool.

"Cas! Poof that baby out or something!" Dean yelled. "I have no clue how to deliver a baby."

"Dean, I'm a warrior of the Lord," Cas retorted. "Do I look like Raphael to you?"

Dean just ignored him. Cas then turned his attention back to Laura.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to deliver your baby in here," he told her.

She shook her head frantically.

"I don't care! Just get it out!"

Castiel nodded and began to peel off Laura's jeans and boots. Next was her underwear. Dean cowered in the corner. He was horrifyingly uncomfortable with the whole thing. So was Laura. She had a complete stranger staring her lower regions down about to deliver her kid.

"Dean, go hold her hand," Cas commanded. "Make sure she breaths."

Dean nodded and scooted over to her and grasped her hand. He instantly felt the pain of her tight grip but began helping her with her breathing. Cas pulled off his trench coat and tucked it underneath Laura.

"I'm putting my trust in you Castiel," Laura gasped out.

"I'll do my best,"

That's all she could ask for. She had no other options. All she had was Cas and Dean. Hopefully that was enough.

* * *

"You have no idea how much I appreciate you two right now,"

Dean chuckled and clapped Cas's back. They were currently in a hospital room with Laura. The workers got the elevator working and had a team ready to get Laura to the delivery room. When the doors opened, they witness Cas about to deliver a baby. Luckily they got actual doctors to do it, with Dean outside (he had to get his hand patched up from Laura's abuse) and Cas in there with her. She gave birth to a darling little baby girl.

"She's a looker just like her mom," Dean complimented.

Laura beamed. She was precious. A pang of emotion hit Laura but she brushed it off.

"So what are you going to name the little stinker?" Dean asked her.

Laura shrugged. Then she came up with an idea.

"Why don't you two name her?"

And so Laura's baby was named Gabrielle Mary Hale. Dean wanted her middle name to be Zeppelin but Laura _and_ Castiel shot him down. After Laura and Gabby went to sleep and Dean went to go and get the doctor for Bobby (after two hours) Cas pulled out his handbook.

_Babies are cute. But it is very problematic to bring them into this world._

He closed it and put it back into his pocket. He stood up and prepared to leave. He brushed a finger against Gabby's face and began to walk away.

Just as his hand was on the door, Laura spoke.

"Castiel?"

He turned around.

"Will you look over her?" she asked him.

During their talk earlier, she found out he was an angel. Castiel nodded. And that was it. He walked out and she smiled knowing someone would look after her baby girl. Even if she couldn't.

* * *

_Four years later…_

_Beacon Hills, California_

Dean was upset. So was Cas. And Sam had no clue why. All he knew was they both looked at the newspaper in the town and immediately became saddened. All they looked at was one article:

_Laura Hale, age 26,killed in an animal attack. Survived by her brother Derek Hale, uncle Peter Hale and one unknown relative._

Dean tossed the paper in the trash.

"C'mon Sam,"

Sam nodded and followed behind his brother. Castiel, during this had zapped himself to 2314 Apple Creek Road, Tacoma Washington. Where a beautiful dark haired, blue-eyed four year old girl played outside. She looked up and blue struck blue.

"Gabrielle! Time to come inside!"

Gabrielle broke the stare and ran into the house. But not without a final look behind her to find an empty street.

Chapter End!

So I managed to fit two of my favorite TV Programs into one chapter. Cool. Anybody make the connection before hand?

Dean: I did.

Good for you. But to make this short and sweet. Read. Review. Suggestions. That's it. Laters!

Sam: Later.

Dean: Later.


	11. Chapter 11

Yo! Happy Unattached Drifter Christmas!

Dean: Hey. And what she said.

Sam: Hello

I'm back! I have found my mojo! And it feels good!

Dean:...

Don't say it.

Sam: What? You got the D?

..I hate you. Enjoy the chapter. Before I kill your brother, Dean?

Dean: She doesn't own this hot piece of Hunter. Or anyone else.

Happy Valentine's Day Castiel!

Pairings: Meg and Cas, Team Free Will Bromance

"Are you sure this is the place she told you to meet her?"

Castiel nodded. Team Free Will was currently in an open field waiting for Meg to make an appearance. She told Castiel to meet her there specifically at five and so far she was a no show. And that made a very agitated Dean.

"Meg! Where the hell are you?"

"Keep your panties on Dean-o,"

All three turned around. Meg was behind them, arms crossed. Then she began walking towards them.

"What the hell are you doing here anyways?" she asked. "I'm pretty sure I asked Angel Wings here to come. Not you two bozos."

Dean scoffed.

"Like I would leave him here alone with you," he spat out.

Meg glared at him. Before they could go any further Castiel piped up.

"Ignore them. What was it that you needed Meg?" Cas inquired.

The scowl on her face was replaced with a smile for the angel.

"It's Valentine's Day Clarence," she told him. "We're going out."

Dean and Sam gaped.

"Whoa whoa whoa," Dean said waving his hands. "You called him here so you two could go on a _date_?"

"Actually Dean. We planned days in advance. She just decided here for safety purposes."

Dean couldn't compute what was going on.

"So does this mean you two are a couple?" Sam asked.

Castiel nodded.

"I have learned that even though she's an abomination to God she still has saved my life and given me companionship while I was incapacitated," he told the Winchesters. "I have affections for her."

During his speech, Meg came up beside him.

"Aw Angel Wings," she cooed.

Dean shook his head.

"On that note I'm leaving before I vomit," he said pulling his keys out of his pocket. "C'mon Sam."

As the duo walked away, Dean looked back at Cas.

"Have fun lovebirds,"

Once they were gone, Castiel turned to Meg.

"So are we going to stay here?"

Meg nodded. Castiel snapped his fingers and a nice picnic spread was laid out on the grass. Meg chuckled and laced her fingers with Castiel's.

"Oh Cas. You sure know how to woo a girl,"

"I've been watching these movies called 'romantic comedies' and this occurs very often,"

Meg just shook her head and dragged Cas over to the blanket.

* * *

"Oh. You're back. Could've sworn I wouldn't see you until tomorrow,"

Castiel looked confusingly at Dean.

"Why would you think that?"

The hunter just stared at him. When he realized the angel wasn't getting him, he sat down his gun he was cleaning and sighed.

"Never mind," he muttered. "So what's up? Wanted to tell me and Sam all about your date with Demon Bitch?"

"Dean," Sam said in a warning tone. "Leave Cas' girlfriend alone."

Dean scoffed. Castiel just brushed off the snide remark and held out a bag. Dean raised a brow and took it from him.

"What's this?" he questioned.

"A gift," Castiel responded. "I have one for you as well Sam."

Cas handed the second to the younger Winchester. Sam and Dean looked at each other then looked in their perspective bag. What Dean pulled out made him snort.

"Oh Cas. You got me chocolates and beer," he joked. "You shouldn't have."

Sam got the same thing.

"Meg told me I had to get you two something or you were going to get jealous. Especially you Dean."

Sam laughed at Dean's expression.

"Thanks Cas," Sam said, unwrapping the chocolates and popping one in his mouth.

Cas then went back to Dean.

"Why the hell would I be jealous?"

"Duh. Are you an idiot?"

All three occupants whirled around. Gabriel was standing behind Sam. He reached over the man's shoulder and stole a piece of his candy. Saying they were surprised was an understatement.

"I mean c'mon. You're my little bro's first love. Plus you guys have such a profound bond. Now Cassie's got a lady to shower his affections upon and you're acting like a jealous ex. Quite needy if you ask me,"

Dean completely lost it. He ignored the fact that Gabriel was supposed to be dead and began yelling expletives at the archangel. Castiel started to get involved but Sam stopped him.

"Let him get it out of his system," Sam replied nonchalantly popping a chocolate in his mouth. "He'll stop eventually."

Then he held out the box.

"Want one?"

Cas took a seat beside Sam and took a piece offered to him.

"I AM NOT CAS'S GIRLFRIEND YOU DICK!"

Cas shook his head and pulled out his notebook.

_Dean really hates it when he's called a girlfriend._

"AND I AM NOT NEEDY!"

_And he's not needy._

Chapter End!

And as always...

Dean: Read.

Sam: Review.

Suggestions!

Dean: Peace out guys.


	12. Chapter 12

Soo sorry about the MIA-ness. Let me tell you it has been some pretty crazy months.

Dean: Seriously. I thought our lives were crazy. But whatever. On to bigger and better things.

Sam: So Cookie doesn't own us or Cas. Which makes her sad but me happy.

...

Dean: *Rolls eyes* Enjoy.

Chapter Twelve: Angels Can Jump

Pairings: Dean/OC and Sam/OC

"I can't believe you're really doing this,"

Dean had a huge grin on his face. Sam looked annoyed and bored while Cas was just perplexed. The angels, the Winchesters, and their significant others were at the local gym about to start a game of basketball. Well the boys were at least. The girls were on the sidelines as cheerleaders. Sam's girlfriend Lily was close with the gym owner and managed to get him to reserve the court just for them.

"Alright," Dean called clapping his hands. "We're going to play one-on-one. Sam and I'll play first then winner takes on Cas."

Sam agreed and turned to Cas.

"Just watch us and you should be fine," he told the angel.

Cas nodded and went to go sit with the girls.

"I feel like this isn't going to turn out pretty," Dean's girlfriend, Elena commented.

Lily agreed. They had know no idea just how much.

"Dean! You are such a cheater!"

Dean had the biggest grin on his face. He swept the floor with Sam. Although he did cheat. Blatantly.

"Don't be a sore loser Sammy," he teased. "All you gotta do is work harder."

Sam rolled his eyes and went over to the 'Pep Squad'. He patted Castiel on the shoulder.

"Good luck Cas," he said. "Oh and a helpful tip. Watch out for Dean's elbows."

Castiel nodded. He watched the entire game between the brothers intently and felt that he grasped the concept. He got up and walked onto the court. Dean bounced the ball then passed it to Castiel.

"Don't worry Cas," Dean said. "I'll go easy on you."

"You mean you won't cheat!" Sam yelled.

Dean scoffed.

"I didn't cheat! You just suck!" he yelled back.

"Tell that to the elbow I took to the chest!"

"Wimp!"

"Jerk!"

"Bitch!"

Lily stood up and whistled.

"Stop! We have a game that's trying to start!"

Dean and Sam promptly shut their mouths. They remembered the last time they didn't shut up when she told them to. Dean turned his attention to the angel in the shorts. Dean still couldn't wrap his head around it.

"Alright Cas," Dean said. "You ready?"

Castiel did some practice dribbles then nodded.

"Okay! Game two starts…now!"

Dean made a move to snatch the ball away from Cas but he slid away from him and shot the ball. Nothing but net. Dean gaped at the angel then shook it off.

"Lucky shot,"

Sam smirked. He had a feeling Dean was going to get burned.

Sam had the biggest Cheshire cat grin on his face. That was the best game he had ever seen.

"I can honestly say that was the awesome-est game and beat down I have ever seen," Elena said.

Dean pouted.

"You're my girlfriend," he said. "Why aren't you on my side? I just got my ass handed to me by the Holy Tax Accountant."

Elena shrugged and patted Dean's shoulder.

"Exactly. That doesn't happen everyday," she explained. "But seriously that was the coolest thing I've ever watched. Who knew Cas could shoot hoops like that?"

"Yeah Cas. What is your secret?" Dean asked.

"I like watching it on the television," he explained. "Plus Meta World Peace has a very ironic name for him to have his particular attitude."

They were all surprised. Who could've guessed that the warrior of the Lord enjoyed basketball.

"I'm half tempted to go and sign him up for the draft next season," Dean said. "Those are some serious skills."

Everyone agreed. So when the next draft rolled around, they signed Cas up. He was all ready to go. Dean and Sam had some documents 'found' to make him an actual human being but unfortunately they forgot one thing. His physical. And to think the Lakers were ready to sign him. Oh well. As Team Free Will sat in the Impala, Dean took The Handbook (that's what they were calling it now apparently) and began to write.

_Partake in more basketball games. Makes Cas look normal. Sometimes._

Chapter End!

So not my best but whatever. I'm trying to get myself back in the game. See you next week! Or maybe even this week! All depends on how fast I can get done with the other stories!

Dean: See you later. Don't forget. Read. Review. Enjoy. And convince her to give me a rematch. I was clearly cheated.

Sam: Whatever. You're the cheater.

...Bye Guys!


End file.
